CONDUCT
Jose is a four year old, funny and very well groomed, but his behavior leaves much to be desired, his parents describe him as a child "and berrinchudo disobedient." What I really mean is that Joseph is a child who absolutely refuses to obey the directions that make their parents and crying, throws herself into the ground, kicking and crying if their parents punish him for disobedience. At first tried to convince him not to make the tantrum, but as such an attempt did not work, proposed to reason with him why should not act that way. Despite all this, Joseph continued to tantrums, so that their parents chose not to punish him not to make more tantrums.
Mary is a girl of nine years who their parents describe as "a normal child," a blessing "to school and perform their daily tasks without having to tell him to do is tidy with his stuff and has very good relationships with peers and siblings . Her parents often praised for good behavior and find it very difficult to point out problems they have had with the girl.
These two boys have something in common have learned to be as sor4 were taught by their parents and others to behave the way they do, regardless of proper conduct in question or problematic. Of course, Joseph's parents taught him no problem behaviors as intentionally did not expect their child to do tantrums, however, families often teach accidentally problem behaviors.
By analyzing the previous cases we can say that the conduct, whether appropriate or problematic, is learned through the history and the consequences that the child receives.
Background
Background are events that occur before the behavior. The background provided the occasion for behavior, but not the cause, but rather point to the possible outcomes in the past have accompanied the emergence of certain behaviors. These records function as signals for the individual to express a certain behavior, while indicating the type of result you get.
Consequences
For result understand everything that occurs immediately after a behavior is present. All those behaviors that we pay attention, by applying positive or negative stimuli, tend to recur and those behaviors that do not we pay gradually disappear.
There are two types of consequences:
1. positive consequences that increase behavior.
2. negative consequences that decrease the behavior.
1. "Positive consequences"
Positive consequences are situations that occur immediately after the behavior, and cause an increase in the frequency with which this behavior occurs. The conduct is maintained, usually by consequences such as attention, smiles, praise, toys and food. For example, a child accompanies her mother to market. It asks for a chocolate and she refuses. The child cries and throws a tantrum, the mother then buys the chocolate and gives it. The attention that the mother is providing the child, as well as the fact of giving chocolate increases the possibility that in the future, to deny the child, it makes tantrums, in other words, to give the child a positive impact for this negative behavior, the possibility that this behavior again exhibited greater.
2. "Adverse consequences"
The negative consequences are events that decrement inappropriate behaviors of children. These may be the scowling, shouting, scolding, hitting, removing privileges, and so on. An example is when the child asks for candy from your mom and she refuses. The child begins to mourn and throws a tantrum. The mother scolds him and not give him the candy. These negative consequences for the behavior to mourn and to tantrum make it less likely that such behavior occur in the future.
The most important rule about human behavior is: What happens immediately after a behavior (the consequences) will determine that such behavior occur again or not in the future.
imitation
Another way in which children learn a behavior problem or appropriate either, is by imitating the behavior they observe in the people who live, whether parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, etc.., and by imitating the artists and characters they see on television and film , so we see that very young children say and do things as their parents do, as children develop, their models are changed or expanded to artists, friends, film or television personalities, leaders of their school or neighborhood, etc. The old adage "He who walks with wolves, howling is taught is very applicable to children who can learn to smoke, drink excessively, * stealing, fighting, cursing, insulting, etc.., if this is the behavior they observe in the people living directly or indirectly.
In relation to the father's behavior, it is very difficult to predict which aspects of it will be imitated by his son, parents should pay close attention to your behavior towards your child will be extremely difficult since modify the behavior of a child when one or both parents doing the same type of problem behavior that the child has. If a parent is really intended to help your child improve their behavior and discover that he has problems such as bad habits in your diet, order, cleanliness, how to treat your family, social life, etc., we would recommend that eliminates such problems in the first person to successfully change after your child's behavior otherwise, do not get to solve the problems of the child.
Scolding and sermons increase misconduct
For example, suppose that one of his sons has been demonstrating frequent outbursts of temper tantrums, dives , kicks, cries, approximately about five times a day. If you look carefully at what is happening immediately after the behavior occurs, you will find, perhaps, you start to lecture the child explaining why you should not throw tantrums, then it is likely the child as a result of these sermons, make more frequent tantrums . We have seen that the sermons, reprimands, criticism, etc.., have a positive incentive effect, ie, make the further conduct presented over and over again:
This is not at all uncommon, in this regard has been noted that children feel highly motivated to attract the attention of their parents even if that care takes the form of scolding or preaching. Often parents fail to understand why, despite the consequences that apply to problem behavior, children again incur the same mistakes a hundred times, however, from the point of view of children, individuals engage in this behavior is a sure way to attract a considerable amount of attention, even if it is in the negative. This then explains why the scolding, rather than heal the problem behaviors, further increase the frequency of them. This does not mean you never need to explain things to children, but rather to be avoided .* frequent scolding
What to do
In the vast majority of cases an explanation in lay terms is enough for the child understands the reasons for good behavior, repeat these may be ineffective for you to change the child's behavior.
On the other hand, desirable or appropriate behaviors are learned in the same way that the problem behaviors, through the incentives given immediately after they occur, but in the case of desired behaviors, they usually learned through the presentation of positive stimuli called, that are delivered immediately after the appropriate behavior is observed.
Consider the case of a girl who feel "very neat" because he always brings his clothes very clean, ironed and Hair also clean and nicely combed, if we analyze the behavior that adults have when they see this type of presentation the child, which would possibly find that often the "flatter" which causes it still retains its good performance. Take another case, a child who always brings home good grades or hanging his uniform in hook after it has changed, if we analyze the behavior of people who observe these behaviors, which often occur immediately find the child some kind of positive stimulus could be a compliment as the following: I am proud of you for your good grades!, are a very tidy boy!, look how cute is your room with all the clothes in their place!, and so on.
In summary, we can say that the stimulus will cause a behavior to resubmit again and again. Parents provide these incentives in two ways:
positive stimuli . are given to appropriate behavior and are presented immediately after the behavior occurs coaxing, the opportunity to participate in certain activities, awards, or grant of certain privilege.
negative stimuli . usually occur immediately after it has been a problem behavior through physical or verbal punishment.
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